As much as I declare that I like being alone and isolated from big crowds, I've been finding it more and more difficult to stay alone for too long. I bring this up because for the past weekend, my parents have gone to Reno to celebrate their 28th anniversary together. Naturally, they asked if I wanted to come with, but I chose to stay behind so that I could have some time for myself to do work and hang out with friends.
Growing up as an only child is a big reason why I've been such an introvert. I didn't have any siblings to interact with, and while I received the undivided attention of my parents, I don't consider myself to be spoiled. While most people my age would prefer to go out to a club or drinking with friends, I like staying inside in quiet solitude with either a good book or a video game I've been dying to play. My upbringing taught me to find hobbies that I could pass the time with without having to talk to anyone else.
Even today, I feel like I've become more and more introverted. I'm in my 4th year at SF State, yet I don't have many close friends I can hang out with. I still prefer seeing my old friends from high school on a regular basis. Now this doesn't mean I haven't made an effort. Aside from being extremely self-conscious about my behavior and interests around people I just met or sort of know, I try my best to come off as friendly. Still, there are times where I am stuck amongst a crowd of people who all know each other well and are really close, and there I am staring at a wall trying very hard to blend into the background.
There was a time where I believed that I could one day go off to live in the city and spend my days alone. I would have all the time I could want to read, play video games, and watch all the things I want. The quietness of my environment would let me play jazz and soundtracks all day with no interference. It would've been swell. But I've since come to the realization that I don't want to always be alone. It's great to be alone every now and then, sure. Even the most sociable person in the world needs a break all to themselves. I may love to have some peace and quiet, but these days, I'd rather spend have a friend or my girlfriend around to soak in that quiet bliss.
Sunday, March 16, 2014
Monday, March 10, 2014
It's Quiet Here
It's been over four and a half years since I last wrote an entry on this blog. Looking at it now, a lot has changed since then. And not just the fact that this entire website as a whole is different. Then again, a lot of time has passed. Facebook is now the dominate social media. 4K is the new 1080p. The new Bay Bridge is finally complete.
And I'm still the bumbling idiot with big dreams of being a filmmaker.
I'm not sure what compelled me to come back here. For the longest time, I just simply forgot about this blog as my attention was drawn to more important things. Naturally, most, if not all, of my friends have stopped blogging just as long ago. Their old blogs are still around, just like mine is, and looking at each and every one of them is like stepping backwards in time. Nostalgia is a strange feeling. I'm sitting here looking at things long past and I remember that those were simpler times. There was no feeling of adult responsibility overwhelming our every waking moment. In those days, all that really mattered was us.
Maybe I'm just terribly nostalgic. That has always been one of my greatest weakness. I always liked to quietly reminisce of happier times, without all the stress that preoccupies me these days. Back when I hung out with my friends all the time and only had to worry about what video games to play and who's house to hang out at next. I miss those, I truly do. But as they say, time waits for no one.
I'm not sure what point I'm trying to make here. But I think I'm gonna try and do some blogging again, at least whenever I find the time to. Who knows how long I'll be able to keep it up; my attention span was never too great, even when it came to important things. I'm not even sure who I'm talking to, aside from myself. The new blog title alone reflects how I feel in the middle of the night, about how I like to sit quietly with my thoughts after dark. So whoever is still out there and whoever cares to read, my thoughts are here for you to peruse.
Still, it's very quiet here. I wish my friends were around to share these moments with me, rather than the ghosts of their past selves.
And I'm still the bumbling idiot with big dreams of being a filmmaker.
I'm not sure what compelled me to come back here. For the longest time, I just simply forgot about this blog as my attention was drawn to more important things. Naturally, most, if not all, of my friends have stopped blogging just as long ago. Their old blogs are still around, just like mine is, and looking at each and every one of them is like stepping backwards in time. Nostalgia is a strange feeling. I'm sitting here looking at things long past and I remember that those were simpler times. There was no feeling of adult responsibility overwhelming our every waking moment. In those days, all that really mattered was us.
Maybe I'm just terribly nostalgic. That has always been one of my greatest weakness. I always liked to quietly reminisce of happier times, without all the stress that preoccupies me these days. Back when I hung out with my friends all the time and only had to worry about what video games to play and who's house to hang out at next. I miss those, I truly do. But as they say, time waits for no one.
I'm not sure what point I'm trying to make here. But I think I'm gonna try and do some blogging again, at least whenever I find the time to. Who knows how long I'll be able to keep it up; my attention span was never too great, even when it came to important things. I'm not even sure who I'm talking to, aside from myself. The new blog title alone reflects how I feel in the middle of the night, about how I like to sit quietly with my thoughts after dark. So whoever is still out there and whoever cares to read, my thoughts are here for you to peruse.
Still, it's very quiet here. I wish my friends were around to share these moments with me, rather than the ghosts of their past selves.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
What am I doing?!?
Unbelievable. To think that summer is ending, and I'm entering the new school year with even more regrets than last year. Let's back track.
At the beginning of summer, I made something of a silent vow to get off my lazy butt and accomplish a lot this summer. Summer assignments? I'll get them done early so I can enjoy the rest of my summer in peace! Video projects? I got a ton of ideas bursting out of my head! Fun activities? Can't wait!
Looking back, I don't think I've managed to change much.
A little over a week left until school starts, and I'm still at square one. My homework is left buried under a pile of junk, just waiting for me to work on them. My notepad for ideas sits empty, a reminder of my seemingly endless writer's block. I've gone out few times this summer, and found myself at home a lot, either thinking of ways to get out someplace or watching anime from sunrise to sunset.
I hear my friends talk about all the places they've gone, the things they've seen, the people they've met, the stuff they did. I can't help but feel envious. Why is it everyone seems to be in control of their lives when I can barely manage mine? I'm just here...going with the flow, but not knowing where that flow takes me. For the moment, Band Camp has thankfully kept me productive. But will it be enough? The days are slipping by faster than I imagined.
I've decided, it's time for initiative. It's my last year of high school. Possibly the last time in my life I'll be around such familiar faces, doing all the fun things we wanted. This shouldn't be a time of regrets, it should be a time of memories! With the few of you watching my blog, I promise you that I'm going to make the most of our last year together! *Epiphany from writing this blog*
That's it for today. Squad dismissed!
"That's what SHE said!"
At the beginning of summer, I made something of a silent vow to get off my lazy butt and accomplish a lot this summer. Summer assignments? I'll get them done early so I can enjoy the rest of my summer in peace! Video projects? I got a ton of ideas bursting out of my head! Fun activities? Can't wait!
Looking back, I don't think I've managed to change much.
A little over a week left until school starts, and I'm still at square one. My homework is left buried under a pile of junk, just waiting for me to work on them. My notepad for ideas sits empty, a reminder of my seemingly endless writer's block. I've gone out few times this summer, and found myself at home a lot, either thinking of ways to get out someplace or watching anime from sunrise to sunset.
I hear my friends talk about all the places they've gone, the things they've seen, the people they've met, the stuff they did. I can't help but feel envious. Why is it everyone seems to be in control of their lives when I can barely manage mine? I'm just here...going with the flow, but not knowing where that flow takes me. For the moment, Band Camp has thankfully kept me productive. But will it be enough? The days are slipping by faster than I imagined.
I've decided, it's time for initiative. It's my last year of high school. Possibly the last time in my life I'll be around such familiar faces, doing all the fun things we wanted. This shouldn't be a time of regrets, it should be a time of memories! With the few of you watching my blog, I promise you that I'm going to make the most of our last year together! *Epiphany from writing this blog*
That's it for today. Squad dismissed!
"That's what SHE said!"
Sunday, July 5, 2009
"Happy 4th of Jullyyy!!!"
said the girl behind me. At this point I'd lost count of the times she had repeated the phrase. The fireworks had been going on for a good ten minutes when we had noticed the repetitiveness in her speech.
"Haaapppyyyy 4th offff Juuuuulllllyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!"
At this point, I contemplated the possibility of hurling the large stone at my feet at her screeching throat and getting away into the darkness before anyone could arrest me.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sounds like some serial killer suspense novel told in the first person, only it's true. But let's back up a few hours.
After oversleeping once again, I headed down to Will's apartment complex, where it was decided that the guys would get together for a day of swimming, food, and fireworks. Haven't seen the fireworks in 2 years, so I thought, why not? Of course, I am a very bad swimmer, having nearly drowned some years back. And so, I spent much of my time poolside, opting instead to be the self-elected DJ.
After some fun in the sun, we headed back to Will's apartment, for some Pizza Hut pizza and lasagna. Not too bad, actually.The guys had decided to spent the next couple hours playing Brawl. No surprise there. I spent more time playing Flash Flash Revolution and playing with the airsoft guns lying around the house.
As evening approached, the time had come to go watch fireworks. With the fireworks in Pinole cancelled, we decided to head to Hercules, in my old neighborhood in Victoria By The Bay. Entering through the gates of "Narnia", we were treated to an excellent view of the Bay. We then headed down to the park, taking up the entire patch of grass to play various games of Frisbee. One of the frisbees was so deadly, it could cut a person in half if it had blades on it rather than being made of plastic.
It was then I saw "The Mystery Girl", for lack of a better term. It happened suddenly. As the frisbees were being tossed around and everyone was scrambling to catch them, I saw her. A girl that made me stop in my tracks and halted my world. She wasn't hot, scrawny, skanky, pudgy, or ugly (although by personal opinion, I don't believe looks matter as much as personality), but she was undeniably cute, and seemed like a good natured girl. She was an Asian girl, with wavy haur down just past her shoulders. She had a calm look in her eyes, and she dressed nicely, in a jacket over her t-shirt, and wearing a skirt with black leggings that stopped at her ankles. For some reason I can't explain, I believed her to be the girl of my dreams.
The fireworks started, and people huddled together, to keep warm and enjoy the spectacle in the sky. Most of our group broke off to get a better view up at the stairs, while Schwanka and Bryan stayed with me. While we were generally interested to see the fireworks, I desperately tried to search for "The Mystery Girl." It had grown dark incredibly fast, and it would difficult to find just about anyone in this darkness, let alone someone I had just seen for several moments. As the fireworks raged, I continued my doomed search, hoping for a miracle. Finally, I admitted defeat to darkness and rejoined my friends to watch the rest of the fireworks.
And that takes us back to the beginning of this story.
A girl behind us spent the entire time screaming "Happy 4th Of July!" each time a firework went off. Naturally, we got annoyed very fast. Honestly, it was like listening to a broken record, and the volume knob was stuck in its loudest position. Never before had I so strongly wanted to throw something large at someone's face. I even attempted to make a recording of her talking, only to get blasted in the ear by her blowhorn in the midst of the commotion. Was the recording of this annoying girl really worth having my ears blasted and ringing for hours to come? Some things, no matter how trivial, may come in handy someday.
"Haaapppyyyy 4th offff Juuuuulllllyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!"
At this point, I contemplated the possibility of hurling the large stone at my feet at her screeching throat and getting away into the darkness before anyone could arrest me.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sounds like some serial killer suspense novel told in the first person, only it's true. But let's back up a few hours.
After oversleeping once again, I headed down to Will's apartment complex, where it was decided that the guys would get together for a day of swimming, food, and fireworks. Haven't seen the fireworks in 2 years, so I thought, why not? Of course, I am a very bad swimmer, having nearly drowned some years back. And so, I spent much of my time poolside, opting instead to be the self-elected DJ.
After some fun in the sun, we headed back to Will's apartment, for some Pizza Hut pizza and lasagna. Not too bad, actually.The guys had decided to spent the next couple hours playing Brawl. No surprise there. I spent more time playing Flash Flash Revolution and playing with the airsoft guns lying around the house.
As evening approached, the time had come to go watch fireworks. With the fireworks in Pinole cancelled, we decided to head to Hercules, in my old neighborhood in Victoria By The Bay. Entering through the gates of "Narnia", we were treated to an excellent view of the Bay. We then headed down to the park, taking up the entire patch of grass to play various games of Frisbee. One of the frisbees was so deadly, it could cut a person in half if it had blades on it rather than being made of plastic.
It was then I saw "The Mystery Girl", for lack of a better term. It happened suddenly. As the frisbees were being tossed around and everyone was scrambling to catch them, I saw her. A girl that made me stop in my tracks and halted my world. She wasn't hot, scrawny, skanky, pudgy, or ugly (although by personal opinion, I don't believe looks matter as much as personality), but she was undeniably cute, and seemed like a good natured girl. She was an Asian girl, with wavy haur down just past her shoulders. She had a calm look in her eyes, and she dressed nicely, in a jacket over her t-shirt, and wearing a skirt with black leggings that stopped at her ankles. For some reason I can't explain, I believed her to be the girl of my dreams.
The fireworks started, and people huddled together, to keep warm and enjoy the spectacle in the sky. Most of our group broke off to get a better view up at the stairs, while Schwanka and Bryan stayed with me. While we were generally interested to see the fireworks, I desperately tried to search for "The Mystery Girl." It had grown dark incredibly fast, and it would difficult to find just about anyone in this darkness, let alone someone I had just seen for several moments. As the fireworks raged, I continued my doomed search, hoping for a miracle. Finally, I admitted defeat to darkness and rejoined my friends to watch the rest of the fireworks.
And that takes us back to the beginning of this story.
A girl behind us spent the entire time screaming "Happy 4th Of July!" each time a firework went off. Naturally, we got annoyed very fast. Honestly, it was like listening to a broken record, and the volume knob was stuck in its loudest position. Never before had I so strongly wanted to throw something large at someone's face. I even attempted to make a recording of her talking, only to get blasted in the ear by her blowhorn in the midst of the commotion. Was the recording of this annoying girl really worth having my ears blasted and ringing for hours to come? Some things, no matter how trivial, may come in handy someday.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Sleepless Summer
Yep, that pretty much sums up my days. It sounds a bit like a movie title... (note to self: possible title to future short film). But in all, I find it difficult to sleep. I think I'm getting restless. I'm cooped up at home most of the time. Either there's nothing to do, or everyone's too far from me. Man, I need to get my permit.
Lately, I've been sleeping extremely late. I've been going to bed at 5 a.m. lately. Crazy, yes? I keep tossing and turning. Take last night for example. I laid in my bed, shut my eyes, and tried to fall asleep. But, like a blind man with enhanced hearing, I felt like I could hear the world. The creaking of the futon. The sound of a car. The whooshing noise of the wind passing through the freeway in my backyard.
Then, I started feeling uncomfortable. No position felt comfortable, whether I was laying on my back or face down in the pillow. Then, I kept messing with my blankets. One minute, my feet are hot, so I take my blanket off. Next thing I know, my feet are cold, so I put the blanket back. And the process continues until I'm wide awake again.
I ended up listening to my iPod until nearly 5:30 a.m. The one good thing that came out of it was that I came up with a great idea for a music video. I'm getting giddy just thinking about it.
I'm very upset with the passing of so many people in the pass week. Last week, TV personality Ed McMahon, 1970s idol Farrah Fawcett, renowned sales pitchman Billy Mays, and the King of Pop himself Michael Jackson, all passed away. To see so many celebrities pass in one week is tragic. The two that really hit home however, were the deaths of MJ and Billy.
Growing up as a child, I remember listening to my dad's Michael Jackson cassettes. Everytime we were in the car, I would hear Billie Jean or Don't Stop Till You Get Enough, and it really stuck on me. I remember the first time seeing Michael perform, and see him do the moonwalk. It was such a mezmerizing thing to watch. I spent the next 10 years trying to imitate the moonwalk. Even when the accusations of child molestation were placed on him, I couldn't believe it. And I still don't. Michael had his eccentricities, yes, but I think he genuinely cared for children, sort of like a big brother. I just hate the media for twisting him around. His death was tragic, but I will greatly miss him. Not since Elvis or Princess Diana has the world been so deeply affected by a celebrity's death. A big part of our culture, and the music, passed on with him. But his memory will never pass on in our hearts. May he forever rest in peace.
Just last Saturday, I was further shocked to hear the Billy Mays had died in his home of a heart problem. Another childhood figure, I used to think he was a more aggressive version of Richard Karn's character of Al Borland, on Home Improvement. From Oxiclean to Orange Glo, from tv commercials to the series Pitchmen, he quickly became a household name. I was always entertained by the way he would use a loud voice and big hand gestures to try and sell me a product that I had absolutely no use for. And, to tell you the truth, 6 out of 10 times, it worked. We lost one of the greatest salesmen in the world. No one, especially not Vince Offer, can replace him. I will surely miss him a lot.
To those who have passed on, may you finally be at peace.
Ed McMahon: 1923-2009
Farrah Fawcett: 1947-2009
Michael Jackson: 1958-2009
Billy Mays: 1958-2009
Lately, I've been sleeping extremely late. I've been going to bed at 5 a.m. lately. Crazy, yes? I keep tossing and turning. Take last night for example. I laid in my bed, shut my eyes, and tried to fall asleep. But, like a blind man with enhanced hearing, I felt like I could hear the world. The creaking of the futon. The sound of a car. The whooshing noise of the wind passing through the freeway in my backyard.
Then, I started feeling uncomfortable. No position felt comfortable, whether I was laying on my back or face down in the pillow. Then, I kept messing with my blankets. One minute, my feet are hot, so I take my blanket off. Next thing I know, my feet are cold, so I put the blanket back. And the process continues until I'm wide awake again.
I ended up listening to my iPod until nearly 5:30 a.m. The one good thing that came out of it was that I came up with a great idea for a music video. I'm getting giddy just thinking about it.
I'm very upset with the passing of so many people in the pass week. Last week, TV personality Ed McMahon, 1970s idol Farrah Fawcett, renowned sales pitchman Billy Mays, and the King of Pop himself Michael Jackson, all passed away. To see so many celebrities pass in one week is tragic. The two that really hit home however, were the deaths of MJ and Billy.
Growing up as a child, I remember listening to my dad's Michael Jackson cassettes. Everytime we were in the car, I would hear Billie Jean or Don't Stop Till You Get Enough, and it really stuck on me. I remember the first time seeing Michael perform, and see him do the moonwalk. It was such a mezmerizing thing to watch. I spent the next 10 years trying to imitate the moonwalk. Even when the accusations of child molestation were placed on him, I couldn't believe it. And I still don't. Michael had his eccentricities, yes, but I think he genuinely cared for children, sort of like a big brother. I just hate the media for twisting him around. His death was tragic, but I will greatly miss him. Not since Elvis or Princess Diana has the world been so deeply affected by a celebrity's death. A big part of our culture, and the music, passed on with him. But his memory will never pass on in our hearts. May he forever rest in peace.
Just last Saturday, I was further shocked to hear the Billy Mays had died in his home of a heart problem. Another childhood figure, I used to think he was a more aggressive version of Richard Karn's character of Al Borland, on Home Improvement. From Oxiclean to Orange Glo, from tv commercials to the series Pitchmen, he quickly became a household name. I was always entertained by the way he would use a loud voice and big hand gestures to try and sell me a product that I had absolutely no use for. And, to tell you the truth, 6 out of 10 times, it worked. We lost one of the greatest salesmen in the world. No one, especially not Vince Offer, can replace him. I will surely miss him a lot.
To those who have passed on, may you finally be at peace.
Ed McMahon: 1923-2009
Farrah Fawcett: 1947-2009
Michael Jackson: 1958-2009
Billy Mays: 1958-2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
A Look Back: Junior Year
Summer's finally here! Whoop-whoop-sha-doop. It seems I have a bazillion things to do in the coming weeks, but I'll save that for another blog post. But as I was in L.A. the past weekend, I'd like to reminisce about the past year. Late to the party as always, it's time for me to talk about my own thoughts of Junior year. Allow me to paint you a picture of words.
I guess I'll start off with how I managed to emerge from the dark and gloomy days of Sophomore year and started my Junior year anew. Spending nearly the entire summer in recluse, the new school year was a time for me to start with a new outlook on things. After all, new classes, new friends, and a new year ahead of me was a sign that change would be a-coming.
The beginning of the year was very hectic, to say the least. Having my schedule changed around at least 3 times, switching classes, getting new teachers, until I finally got the schedule I was expecting. Break-break, here's the lowdown:
A Period: Jazz Band (formerly Pre-Calculus w/ Mr. Holmes)
1st Period: English 3H w/ Ms. Mcgrady (formerly APUSH)
2nd Period: Pre-Calculus w/ Mr. Sanders (formerly Eng. 3H)
3rd Period: APUSH w/ Mr. Wilson (formerly English 3 w/ Mr. Wade)
4th Period: Symphonic Band
5th Period: A.P. Biology w/ Mrs. Macdonald
6th Period: Spanish 2 w/ Mr. Botello
Easily, Jazz Band and Symphonic Band were my favorite classes. Of course, the circumstances of how I got into Jazz Band were unorthodox, since I had failed auditions earlier in the year. Nez called me into the office, and asked if I wanted to be in Jazz Band. A little dumbstruck, I accepted, and with my final schedule change, I was in Jazz Band. I was really clueless (I still can't remember half the blues scales) and solos are scary to me, but I need to step up my game for next year, since I'm now 1st alto. Oh Lord.
APUSH quickly became one of my favorite classes, of ALL TIME. Mr. Wilson, you are amazing. You could make economic theory sound interesting anyday. He was one of the few teachers who gave a damn about his students, and made learning enjoyable, and bearable. I hope I meet more teachers like him someday.
A.P. Biology. Just thinking about that class...I can't really say much. Something good about it....well, it was a good time to take a nap. I'm sorry, it's easily one of the worst classes I've ever been in, if not for Ms. Stahl. I could hardly learn a thing, the lectures were mindboggling boring, and Mrs. Macdonald seemed to either be winging it, or just assumed we were all mid-level science students. Thank goodness that class is done and done with.
I really don't have much to say about the other classes. They were alright.
English -> Piece of cake, interesting books (The Great Gatsby, The Catcher in the Rye).
Pre-Cal -> Didn't learn that much, no offense Mr. Sanders. Interesting conversations in that class. (Mr. Sander's is a pimp)
Spanish -> I fail at Spanish.
For clubs, I became more active in JSA. I actually started to take a genuine interest, and went to both Fall State and Spring State. It's really fun, and I can't wait for it again next year. Meanwhile, I decided in the beginning of the year, after some convincing from my friends, to start a Film Club at our school. I was the President, Dyana So as Vice President, Bryan Wong as Secretary, and William Byrne as Treasurer. Originally a club for the analysis of films and a look into the production of movies, it quickly evolved into a workshop where you could learn how to make your own homemade movie and share it among your peers. I was practically mute and a horrible leader, with Dyana being forced to cover me many times (I sincerely apologize, I'll work harder next year! >.<), but I'll be stepping up my game next year. Summer projects abound!
Hanging out with the guys has become tradition. Ending up at Red Onion or at our "study sessions", we'd talk about life, like only guys can. Life has been pretty hectic, with A.P. tests, relationships, and all that jazz. I've had the worst luck when it comes to girls. Someone once said that the perfect girl who is "The One" for me is out there somewhere, and that we'll meet someday. Wherever you are, I hope you hurry up and find me already.
The past year, I've been questioning a lot of things. One of the biggest things I've been questioned is what exactly my future holds for me. I think I'm going through an identity crisis, because while everyone seems to know what they're doing or preparing for the coming future, I'm always staggering behind, wondering just where I'm headed. I have wanted to be a filmmaker for the longest time, and I plan on pursuing that dream in the future. But I always wonder, "What if I don't make it as a filmmaker? What then?" There are so many questions I wish I knew the answers to, but for the moment, I guess that's why the future is unpredictable. I have the present right now, and it's the best gift I can have right now.
Summer's here, and I have a lot of work to do in the coming months. For now, I think I'll just go out and enjoy the sun.
Oh wait, the weather's overcast.
I guess I'll start off with how I managed to emerge from the dark and gloomy days of Sophomore year and started my Junior year anew. Spending nearly the entire summer in recluse, the new school year was a time for me to start with a new outlook on things. After all, new classes, new friends, and a new year ahead of me was a sign that change would be a-coming.
The beginning of the year was very hectic, to say the least. Having my schedule changed around at least 3 times, switching classes, getting new teachers, until I finally got the schedule I was expecting. Break-break, here's the lowdown:
A Period: Jazz Band (formerly Pre-Calculus w/ Mr. Holmes)
1st Period: English 3H w/ Ms. Mcgrady (formerly APUSH)
2nd Period: Pre-Calculus w/ Mr. Sanders (formerly Eng. 3H)
3rd Period: APUSH w/ Mr. Wilson (formerly English 3 w/ Mr. Wade)
4th Period: Symphonic Band
5th Period: A.P. Biology w/ Mrs. Macdonald
6th Period: Spanish 2 w/ Mr. Botello
Easily, Jazz Band and Symphonic Band were my favorite classes. Of course, the circumstances of how I got into Jazz Band were unorthodox, since I had failed auditions earlier in the year. Nez called me into the office, and asked if I wanted to be in Jazz Band. A little dumbstruck, I accepted, and with my final schedule change, I was in Jazz Band. I was really clueless (I still can't remember half the blues scales) and solos are scary to me, but I need to step up my game for next year, since I'm now 1st alto. Oh Lord.
APUSH quickly became one of my favorite classes, of ALL TIME. Mr. Wilson, you are amazing. You could make economic theory sound interesting anyday. He was one of the few teachers who gave a damn about his students, and made learning enjoyable, and bearable. I hope I meet more teachers like him someday.
A.P. Biology. Just thinking about that class...I can't really say much. Something good about it....well, it was a good time to take a nap. I'm sorry, it's easily one of the worst classes I've ever been in, if not for Ms. Stahl. I could hardly learn a thing, the lectures were mindboggling boring, and Mrs. Macdonald seemed to either be winging it, or just assumed we were all mid-level science students. Thank goodness that class is done and done with.
I really don't have much to say about the other classes. They were alright.
English -> Piece of cake, interesting books (The Great Gatsby, The Catcher in the Rye).
Pre-Cal -> Didn't learn that much, no offense Mr. Sanders. Interesting conversations in that class. (Mr. Sander's is a pimp)
Spanish -> I fail at Spanish.
For clubs, I became more active in JSA. I actually started to take a genuine interest, and went to both Fall State and Spring State. It's really fun, and I can't wait for it again next year. Meanwhile, I decided in the beginning of the year, after some convincing from my friends, to start a Film Club at our school. I was the President, Dyana So as Vice President, Bryan Wong as Secretary, and William Byrne as Treasurer. Originally a club for the analysis of films and a look into the production of movies, it quickly evolved into a workshop where you could learn how to make your own homemade movie and share it among your peers. I was practically mute and a horrible leader, with Dyana being forced to cover me many times (I sincerely apologize, I'll work harder next year! >.<), but I'll be stepping up my game next year. Summer projects abound!
Hanging out with the guys has become tradition. Ending up at Red Onion or at our "study sessions", we'd talk about life, like only guys can. Life has been pretty hectic, with A.P. tests, relationships, and all that jazz. I've had the worst luck when it comes to girls. Someone once said that the perfect girl who is "The One" for me is out there somewhere, and that we'll meet someday. Wherever you are, I hope you hurry up and find me already.
The past year, I've been questioning a lot of things. One of the biggest things I've been questioned is what exactly my future holds for me. I think I'm going through an identity crisis, because while everyone seems to know what they're doing or preparing for the coming future, I'm always staggering behind, wondering just where I'm headed. I have wanted to be a filmmaker for the longest time, and I plan on pursuing that dream in the future. But I always wonder, "What if I don't make it as a filmmaker? What then?" There are so many questions I wish I knew the answers to, but for the moment, I guess that's why the future is unpredictable. I have the present right now, and it's the best gift I can have right now.
Summer's here, and I have a lot of work to do in the coming months. For now, I think I'll just go out and enjoy the sun.
Oh wait, the weather's overcast.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Such an odd day.
Today has been quite an interesting one. Interesting enough to make me actually write a blog for once. Where should I begin...
Today was Senior Walk-Out Rally. I swear, I could've gone deaf from all the screaming. It's strange. The past two years, I would go to the Walk-Out, just to see what the buzz was about. Those two years, I hardly knew any actual seniors, except for those senior band kids. But this year, it's a different feeling. I'm really close to several seniors this time around. I'm going to feel really sad when they leave. Band definitely won't be the same next year. Same goes out to my other senior friends, namely Shawn. He's been my neighbor and one of my closest friends for years. I'll miss all these guys.
Over outside Peet's Coffee, we had the strangest experience. Ryan, Schwanka, and Bryan had takeout from Happy Sashimi, and we were waiting for my dad. During the wait, they decided to eat on the bench. Suddenly, one of the security guards came up to us. Starting off with something like "Hey, yo. Y'all can't eat in this era. Students gotta go over to Subway." He then proceeded to go kick out all the other students. When we got to Subway, it was nothing but a taped off construction site, where they had laid in some new tiling. We also saw him kicking everyone out outside Jamba Juice. Man, it seems us students can't fit in any era but Subway's. He's now officially a contender for Most Difficult To Understand, rivaling Schwanka.
Senior Recitals were very interesting. Too bad both Angeline (my camcorder) and my mom's camera died before I could finish recording. I went to extraordinary lengths to get as much of the performance as possible. It's too bad I missed Michael's recital in the mayhem. Sorry Michael. We also talked about how Schwanka would do next year. He's thinking of putting a tape recorder in his clarinet. I figure, if you can imitate the fingerings, you might as well be able to play the real thing.
On a final note (I smell a pun), finals are putting a great deal of stress on me. My group is struggling desperately to finish the service learning project by Monday. Finals are on Monday and Tuesday, with a chance of me failing at least 2 of them. So much work, so little time to do it in. Additionally, I've managed to make three of my friends upset and angered at me. It seems lately, I will say something that causes hurt in someone. I honestly don't mean to hurt anyone, but somehow I always end up doing so...Please forgive me. I don't want any of you to be like this.
SAT Subject Tests are in the morning. I'm taking it at Berkeley High. I need to get up early so I have time to get lost on the way to my room. I hope things go smoothly this weekend. I need a breather...
Today was Senior Walk-Out Rally. I swear, I could've gone deaf from all the screaming. It's strange. The past two years, I would go to the Walk-Out, just to see what the buzz was about. Those two years, I hardly knew any actual seniors, except for those senior band kids. But this year, it's a different feeling. I'm really close to several seniors this time around. I'm going to feel really sad when they leave. Band definitely won't be the same next year. Same goes out to my other senior friends, namely Shawn. He's been my neighbor and one of my closest friends for years. I'll miss all these guys.
Over outside Peet's Coffee, we had the strangest experience. Ryan, Schwanka, and Bryan had takeout from Happy Sashimi, and we were waiting for my dad. During the wait, they decided to eat on the bench. Suddenly, one of the security guards came up to us. Starting off with something like "Hey, yo. Y'all can't eat in this era. Students gotta go over to Subway." He then proceeded to go kick out all the other students. When we got to Subway, it was nothing but a taped off construction site, where they had laid in some new tiling. We also saw him kicking everyone out outside Jamba Juice. Man, it seems us students can't fit in any era but Subway's. He's now officially a contender for Most Difficult To Understand, rivaling Schwanka.
Senior Recitals were very interesting. Too bad both Angeline (my camcorder) and my mom's camera died before I could finish recording. I went to extraordinary lengths to get as much of the performance as possible. It's too bad I missed Michael's recital in the mayhem. Sorry Michael. We also talked about how Schwanka would do next year. He's thinking of putting a tape recorder in his clarinet. I figure, if you can imitate the fingerings, you might as well be able to play the real thing.
On a final note (I smell a pun), finals are putting a great deal of stress on me. My group is struggling desperately to finish the service learning project by Monday. Finals are on Monday and Tuesday, with a chance of me failing at least 2 of them. So much work, so little time to do it in. Additionally, I've managed to make three of my friends upset and angered at me. It seems lately, I will say something that causes hurt in someone. I honestly don't mean to hurt anyone, but somehow I always end up doing so...Please forgive me. I don't want any of you to be like this.
SAT Subject Tests are in the morning. I'm taking it at Berkeley High. I need to get up early so I have time to get lost on the way to my room. I hope things go smoothly this weekend. I need a breather...
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